Gripping!!
I am honoured and privilidged to be able to interview one of the first people conceived through this special fertility advancement. Imagine without the help of our precious egg donors, this person would not even exist.
Please consider with this fascinating account of one person's experience of being conceived through egg donation that at the time, she was one of the first persons to be conceived in this fashion. There was not an established process of pictires, profiles, support, systems, processes and education around egg donation as there is today.
Why did your parents resort to egg donation for conception?
My sister is sadly diagnosed with a genetic condition and my parents did not want to expose their next child to the same medical challenge, so opted to consider egg donation.
Was your sister informed?
In an attempt to help my sister understand why I was
not born with the same disorder, they
explained to her that I was the result of an egg donation treatment. The family kept this
between themselves until I was roughly 15.
How
did you hear of your egg donation conception?
Unfortunately my parents were
not the ones to
deliver the news to me. My sister and I got into a
huge fight and she sent me an sms which was her malicious attempt at hurting
me. “Mom is not your real mom, your real
mom is sitting in America, they used another woman's eggs so that you wouldn’t have problems like me, you’re not even my real sister."
I happened to be sitting with my mom at the time
that she had smsed me, it was a bit of a shock admitadly, especially hearing the news through a childlike SMS. I did understand the concept and implications, although it was exceptionally foreign. My father was away at work at the time of the news being delivered, so I did not receive the initial support from both parents.
Did
they show you the profile of the egg donor? Any pictures?
There are no records of the donation (as far as
we know). My mom was told that at the time, she was only 1 of 2 people in the
country to have conceived a child through egg donation. There were no profiles that my parents could consider, so I have neither photographs nor any information of the egg donor to which I can refer.
How
did you feel?
At the time I found out I was in a bit of shock
(simply because of the way in which I had to find out). Once it sank in I felt
almost grateful that they had chosen to conceive in that way. I felt in no way
different or as if I didn’t belong. The genetic disorder runs in the family, my uncle has it and so does my sister. I feel spared from this and grateful for the throughfulness that my parents considered.
Are
you pleased your parents shared this news with you?
I’m pleased to know this information. If there
was one thing I could change it would be the way I had to find out. The memory
of how the news broke is still clear as day to me and as I rethink this, it is hurtful. I wish I had been sat down (even as a young girl) and had everything explained to me. I would have dealt with it very well and it would have been less of a traumatic
experience for me.
Have
you told any one else?
I’ve told many people, its not something that I
am ashamed about.
Are
you open about it or only reveal to close friends?
I am very open about it and have told many people.
Do
you feel you do not have a full picture not having all details about the donor,
e.g. complete details and opportunity to contact her?
I really wish that there was some record of the
donor, I would love to just see photographs and compare physical features, see what
it is I inherited from her. From a medical point of view it would have been
useful to have her medical history for my records because I have no idea what
to look out for, sort of feels like I only have half the picture.
How
has this changed your feelings/ understand about infertility?
I’ve never really looked at it from an
infertility perspective, I was not conceived through egg donation because either of my
parents were infertile. It was a method of prevention the genetic disorder from recurring. My parents wanted their
second child to have the best life possible and conceiving naturally again was
too risky. Being the sister of a disabled person has been tough, I don’t even
want to imagine the challenges of parenting a disabled child. For those
reasons, I am all for egg donations.
If
you had access/ opportunity to contact the egg donor, would you?
Absolutely. Not because I long to form a
relationship. Im just curious about this whole other side of which I know nothing.
What
do you think about egg donation today?
I support egg donations 100%. I’m glad that it
seems people are taking more care in the whole process by making very detailed
profiles available. When I did my first donation I gave the parents the option
of allowing their child to contact me in the future if they were ever curious
and wanted to know more about me, I think that’s important for the child to
have as an option.
