I was born and raised in Zambia and my parents gave me a very good childhood sending me to the best schools. I loved school and studied hard and my hard work paid off when I was made head girl. I passed my exams with flying colours and went on to university to study law. Ever since I was a very little girl, it had always been my dream to have a big family with a loving and devoted husband. Soon after leaving University I met the man of my dreams and we got married in1990.

Two years later I fell pregnant and I gave birth to a beautiful boy. Parenthood really suited us and we were really happy, but not long after my son was born the doctors found an obstruction in his intestines. He had to be operated on to have it removed, but the operation didn't go according to plan. His health deteriorated and at just 3 years old he passed away. Naturally, my husband and I were left devastated, clinging to each other trying to make sense of it all. Time crept by and we slowly came to terms with our loss, but we had not given up hope on trying for children, but I never fell pregnant. In February 2001, while I was at work, I started to feel an excruciating pain in the left side of my abdomen and I was quickly rushed to the hospital where they ran some tests. After the results came back it was established that I was suffering from an ectopic pregnancy, where a fertilised egg had attached itself to the outside of my womb. Worse news was to come when I was told that I would also have to have my left fallopian tube removed due to cysts that had developed. It went from bad to worse as I had to have my right fallopian tube in 2002 for the same reasons. Up until that point I kept thinking that I could, and would, fall pregnant, after all I had already conceived naturally with my son. But there I was, 36, both my fallopian tubes removed and I was still childless. What hope was there for me? The dream I had of having a big family seemed exactly that - a dream that would never come true.

Learning all about IVF

My husband and I spoke at length with our Doctor who told us that even though I had no fallopian tubes, I could still conceive with the help of IVF. At that time, we had only read about the ´test tube baby' phenomenon and we knew nothing about IVF or its success rates. Neither of us had ever thought that this would be the way we could possibly have our children and it took a couple of years before we decided to go for our first round of IVF. In 2005 we went to a clinic here in South Africa and started the procedure, but unfortunately it didn't work. I remember talking to the doctor who told me that the reason why IVF didn't work was because of my age. I am fully aware that as women get older their chances of conceiving naturally gets harder but I was friends with women who were around my age that had fallen pregnant naturally. The conversation really upset me and thought that if my Doctor was thinking this way, what chance did I have of walking away from all of this with a little baby. Finding a donor is no easy task and we spent a lot of time looking for the right one.

Taking the next step

We decided to try a different clinic and after my eggs were examined, the Doctor felt that they were actually of a good enough quality to try IVF again. Desperate for success, we started the procedure again. Everything went well this time and I fell pregnant almost straight away and in 2007 I gave birth to a beautiful healthy girl. We took our daughter home, and I loved being a mother, but in the back of my mind I really felt that our daughter deserved to have a brother or sister to grow up with so we decided to try IVF one more time. In 2010 we went back to the same clinic and did all the necessary tests, but when the results came back we were told that due to my age, my egg quality had deteriorated and were advised against trying IVF.

It was then that we were told if we wanted to add another baby to our family the best option would be to find an egg donor. Once again, we were thrown into a world we knew nothing about, but this time we started to thoroughly research the internet and it wasn't long before we found baby2mom. We called to make an appointment and spoke with Jenny Currie whom we immediately got on with. She took her time with us and really understood what we had been through already but I remember that initially my husband was not sure about the process, so Jenny found us some great counselling where we were able to talk about our concerns and what we were to expect from the process. Finding a donor is no easy task and we spent a lot of time looking for the right one. We were lucky and found a wonderful lady, but the laws in South Africa do not allow you to meet your donor but working so closely with Jenny we really felt like she knew what we looking for.

Three's a charm